What kind of mother do you want to be?
I have noticed, after spending some time on online ‘mummy forums’ and at school drop off that there is a lot of judgement and competition between mums. It’s super tough being a mother and we put enough guilt and pressure on ourselves without other mums adding to it. It can sometimes come naturally to judge others. I can honestly say there have been times where I have judged others. I’m not proud of it, but it has made me be able to change since i’m aware of it, i can snap myself out of it. As parents, we need to support each other and there are some super simple ways to do it.
By simply showing kindness to each other, we can all feel supported. No one likes having a child in a full-blown meltdown while they are trying to do the shopping, but even worse it getting those dirty looks from strangers. It can honestly be soul-crushing. So instead of looking down on the struggling mum or clicking your tongue in frustration, give her a smile. A small sympathetic smile will let her know that we’ve all been through this and she will get through this too. The tiniest bit of kindness can make all the difference to a mum having a rough day.
Even better than showing kindness is offering some help. It feels really nice to help someone and even better to receive help. It does not need to be a big, grand gesture. If you see a mother struggling, offer a hand. It takes two seconds to help load some groceries while she calms a fussy baby or to help distract and occupy an unruly toddler at the checkouts. The small things will make a big difference.
Someone once told me that the first thought we have (the judgemental one) is what society has programmed us to think, it’s the thought that comes second that makes us who we are. So make that second thought one of love and compassion.
At the end of the day, mums get judged by everyone. By friends, family, doctors, teachers and strangers. We don’t need to judge each other as well. We all parent differently and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean we have to be nasty and critical of each other. Showing love and kindness will make us all better mums and make this parenting gig just that bit easier.